I Was Still Hitting My Numbers. Sort Of.
The work went out. Deadlines got met. Nobody chased me for anything. It was taking five times as long to get there, and none of that appears in a performance review, a dashboard, or an engagement survey. This is what a year of hidden decline looked like from the inside, what a manager saw instead, and the one signal that showed up before anything else moved.
The Best Benefit Items Aren't Even In Your Benefit Booklet
A CPO showed me her benefits guide. Twenty-two pages, EAP near the back, four percent utilization. She called it a communications problem. Run any credible prevalence estimate against your headcount and the number should be forty percent or higher. So thirty-six percent of your people are carrying something and never raising a hand. This is where they went, and what reaches them when a phone number doesn't.
Losing Maddie Also Meant Losing Myself. Nobody Warned Me About That Part.
When Chris Coulter lost his daughter Maddie in 2015, he spent the next nine years trying to get back to the man he was before. Nobody warned him about the second loss, the one that happens underneath. This is a piece about losing yourself after losing a child, about the two selves that argue in private, and about what finally stopped the arguing after eleven years.
You Don't Have to Know What to Say
A message came in yesterday. Someone had found out a friend lost her daughter and didn't know what to do. She's not alone. Most people give a grieving family space because it feels respectful, and then the space becomes permanent. This is about when to reach out, what to say when you don't know what to say, and the two things that land badly.
Nobody Asks the Second Question
Every podcast opens with the same question about my daughter Maddie. Off the microphone, people say they're sorry for my loss. One asks me to be her dad for a minute. The other closes the conversation. This is about what you actually get when you ask a grieving parent a second question, and the fourteen year old who appointed herself greeter on a psychiatric ward.
How Well Do You Actually Know Your Team
Most managers are most confident about the people they've known the longest, and least informed about the one who never causes a problem. The Manager Signal Check is a ten minute self-assessment that measures what you actually know about your team. No employee is named or rated. Nobody sees your results. Built for managers who want the conversation to happen before the resignation does.
We Told Everyone It Was Her Stomach
Maddie was in the youth psychiatric ward in North York. Twice. Her friends would call the house and I'd tell them she had a stomach thing and would be home soon. She asked me to keep it quiet and I did. Chris Coulter on the two months nobody visited, why a broken back fills a room and this doesn't, and the decision he never realised he was making.
The Gap
Ask a parent how their kid is doing and you get an answer, not a guess. Ask a manager about the person ten feet away, same confidence. Nobody is lying. Everyone is answering from what they were shown, and somebody decided what that would be. Chris Coulter on why the people closest to you tell you least, what we measure instead, and the question worth sitting with.
7 Subtle Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling (Even If They Say They're Fine)
Many kids won’t say they’re struggling—they’ll show it in subtle ways. This article outlines 7 behaviours that could signal emotional distress in teens, even if they say everything is “fine.” Learn how to recognize these red flags early, respond with compassion, and take action that could make all the difference.
Nobody Taught You What to Say. Say Something Anyway.
Committed is a word for choices. You commit a crime. You commit to a mortgage. Suicide is not one of those, and the word makes a claim about what happened that is simply wrong. Chris Coulter on the phrase people still use, the fence it builds around other families, what to say to a grieving parent instead, and why correcting somebody only works when it hands them information rather than a test they can fail.
You May Think It’s Just a Photo, But for a Grieving Parent, It’s Everything
A heartfelt reflection on why photos and memories matter so deeply to grieving parents. This piece reframes loss into gentle foresight, reminding readers that simple gestures—sharing a photo, a moment, a memory—offer profound connection. A warm, hopeful invitation to reach out, honour, and keep loved ones present in small, meaningful ways.
We Gave 500 Parents Free Help. Fewer Than 5% Opened It.
Almost every company has an EAP and almost nobody uses it. Typical utilization sits somewhere between three and eight per cent, and low uptake keeps getting read as low need. Chris Coulter on the 500-parent experiment that removed every barrier and produced the same number anyway, what utilization is actually measuring, and what reaches the ninety-five per cent an EAP was never designed to find.
Teen Suicide Warning Signs Parents Miss: Why "It Won't Happen to Us" Is Dangerous
After my 14-year-old daughter Maddie died by suicide, I created a talk called "Wake Up: You Could Lose Your Teen to Suicide." Four parents signed up. The school cancelled. Most parents believe "that would never happen in our family." But 40% of teens experience significant mental health changes during adolescence—and many won't tell their parents. The warning signs were there. I just didn't know what I was looking at.
Seven Months
You did the hard part. You noticed, you had the conversation, your teenager agreed. Then you called, and somebody gave you a number of months. Chris Coulter on the teen mental health waitlist nobody prepares Canadian families for: the two queues nobody explains, the wait that happens before the wait, what the months cost with a kid who just took a risk on you, and what can happen in the gap.
I'll Be Happy When...
I checked my net worth the way other people check the weather. It was in the millions, on paper, and it wasn't pride so much as proof. Then a business failed, a marriage ended, and Maddie died. Chris Coulter on what he'd confused with his own worth, why teenagers are learning the same habit faster than we did, and the one question worth asking a fourteen-year-old instead of asking what's next.
She Would Have Told Me
I believed my daughter would tell me if something was wrong. Not confidence. Something closer to how you believe the floor will hold. Every quiet week, every look I couldn't read, went through that filter and came back fine. Chris Coulter on why teenagers often hide more from the parents they're closest to, what that belief was really doing, and the question to ask when your teenager won't talk to you.
Seventeen Hours
While my daughter was in a psychiatric unit, I felt something close to safe. There was a building with staff in it. When she came home, the fear arrived properly, and my sons were in that house for every hour of it. What the reversal does to the other children, why nobody catches it, and what helps more than a big conversation. (
Why "Is Everything Okay?" Gets You Nothing
My daughter told me the truest thing she ever said while we were driving home from swim practice. Nothing about that conversation was planned, and that was the point. Sitting across a desk and asking someone to be honest puts them on a stage. Teenagers read it instantly and so do employees. This is about why the check-in fails, and where real answers actually happen.
Someone Just Broke Down in Your Office. You Have Four Seconds.
When an employee breaks down in your office, your instinct is to fix it, hand over a resource, or route them to HR. In the first moment, each one makes it worse. This is a manager's guide to what to actually say when someone shares a personal struggle at work: the first line that keeps them in the room, the small choices to offer, the follow-up three days later, and the two instincts to kill on the spot. No clinical skill required.
The Day I Realized I Didn't Know My Own Child
Chris Coulter thought his daughter Maddie was just being a teenager. Eye rolls, silence, withdrawal. He told himself it was a phase. One night he found her at a party in distress. He told her tomorrow would be a new day. That night she attempted suicide. This article is about what he missed, what he's learned since, and why he built The Mentor Well — a mentorship platform for teens and families navigating mental health challenges. Includes free tools and resources for parents.