Why December Breaks So Many Teens, And a Daily Ritual That Can Hold Them Together

Not everyone loves the holidays. I dread them. For my boys, December is a heavy month too. December has a heaviness because Maddie’s absence is felt more. Our divorce carries a weight. Throw in all the other variables and it’s pretty easy to understand why.

December routines fall apart.
Emotional stability often goes with them.

It hits teens from every angle.
Exam stress
Sleep patterns get interrupted.
Money can get tighter at home.
More social pressure.
Teens feel left out of parties they see online.
Grief feels heavier in December too.
Especially because no one talks about it.

You may notice your teen is more tired.
Quieter.
Shorter with you.
More sensitive.
Less motivated.
More withdrawn.

December overload is real.
And it does not mean your teen needs less support.
They need slower support.

I remember one December with Maddie when everything looked fine on the surface.
Her mom and I were separated at this point School was moving along.
She was laughing at dinner.
She had the ability to be able to laugh when she cried. (Yup,confused me too)
I assumed tired was just tired.
Quiet was just quiet.
Stress was just school.

I did not realize how much she was holding inside.
Exams felt huge to her.
Separate Christmases weigh heavily on kids, Maddie was no exception. But she hid it well.
Money stress in the house did not go unnoticed, even when I tried to hide it.
And grief, old, new and quiet, sat underneath it all.

I didn’t notice any red flags, but should’ve paid more attention to the yellow cautionary flags.
Nothing looked dramatic. But there was a heaviness. It was quietly felt.
That is what makes December dangerous for some teens.
The weight is heavy, but it is silent.

Maddie’s first suicide attempt was in December.

Exams alone can drain a teen fast.
Final marks feel like the whole future in their mind.
Add lack of sleep and constant comparison online.
Now layer in financial stress at home they do not fully understand but still feel.
Add parties they were not invited to.
Trips their friends can afford and they cannot.
Then add grief.
The smiles are often a mask for the underlying pressures.

Yet we insist our kids are resilient.

That is a heavy mix for a young nervous system.

At The MentorWell, we see this pattern every year. Teens don’t always act out when they feel overwhelmed.
Many go quiet.
They go inward.
They try to push through.
They smile and say they are fine.

This season is not the time to pull back.
It is the time to slow down and stay close.

Many parents ease off in December.
Schedules are busy.
Energy is low.
Patience gets thin.

The instinct is understandable.
But distance can feel like disinterest to a teen who is already struggling. Slow the pace.
Not the support.

Stress runs high for many parents leading up to the holidays. Kids are no different.

You need to stay steady. You need to stay near. You need to remain vigilant.

One of the simplest tools we talk about in The MentorWell Parent Circle community is this.

Create one predictable daily touchpoint.

One small moment.
Every day.
Same time if possible.
Five or ten minutes is enough.

It could be:

• A short drive together.

• A walk after dinner.

• A check in before bed.

• A quick coffee run in the morning.

Remember no lecturing, fixing or advice giving, unless THEY ask.

One simple question is enough.
“How did today feel for you?”

Then listen. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Do not rush to encourage.
Do not minimize if they answer. Validate. “That seems really difficult.”

This is how safety rebuilds quietly.

If the silence feels awkward, let it.
Silence is still connection.

If you do not know what to say, keep it simple.

“I noticed you seem more tired.”
“I am here if you want to talk.”
“You do not have to carry this alone.” Keep the door open. Be present.

Say less.
Mean it more.

At The MentorWell, we see what happens when teens feel anchored during this season.
They do not always open up right away.
But they stop feeling alone with their weight.
That matters. A lot.

December ends quickly in a whirlwind.
But how it feels in their body can last well into the new year.

This season can deepen distance.
Or it can quietly rebuild trust.

You control the direction it heads to.

Perfection is not the goal here.
You only need one steady daily moment.

That one touchpoint tells your teen, again and again,
“You still matter here.” “You’re the most important thing in my world.”

And sometimes, that is what gets them through the heaviest month of the year.