Grief is Love That Needs Somewhere to Go

This is to all those struggling and grieving right now because they've lost a loved one. I know your pain. I lost my 14-year-old daughter, Maddie to suicide in April 2015.

I know there are many days that it feels like there's no path forward. You want to feel them every moment of every day. Many of you might feel you want to join them because the pain is simply unbearable. I know because over the last decade, I've wanted to join Maddie on several occasions.
I’d like to share with you what I've learned on this unforgiving journey.

💜 That pain will always be there because that love needs somewhere to go. Grief is love transformed.

💜 Take as long as you need to grieve. There is no schedule for grief. As long as you are alive, that love for your special someone will be there.

💜 Your heart is broken and your brain has changed. Trying to get back to that person before your loss is impossible. Embrace the person you have become. It's frustrating when you walk into a room and forgot why you entered it.

💜 Some of the things you loved in the past, you will become disinterested in. It's ok, but action and activity is important. Go out for that walk because I received signs from Maddie throughout nature. Be open to receiving them.

💜 Some of your friends will seem like they disappear. They still love you, but grief for many is really difficult to process. They don't know how to support you. Help them understand how much you need them.

💜 Tell them you want to talk about your lost loved one. Say their name often. Ask them to share stories, pictures and videos. Tell them to say their name because our biggest fear is they will be forgotten. Those memories others share will bring tears of happiness not pain.

💜 Find your outlet to celebrate their life. For me, it was writing. This is for you and your loved one to share. It doesn't need to be done publicly. You will find your means and your cadence. Let it happen naturally. It is cathartic.

💜 And finally, find something that will give you renewed purpose in life. Don't force it, just be open to the idea. If you can do it to honour your loved one, even better. It may take several attempts and iterations but eventually you will find it, and it will find you. Be patient.

I will always have this place in my heart that will never fill the void of Maddie’s loss. I promise you, it is there. It's taken me more than a decade to get to where I am today.

The MentorWell is a product of my grief and love to honour Maddie. She is my co-pilot on this journey and knowing that helps to shift my pain into purpose. Now, my thoughts of Maddie bring more smiles than tears.

Grief is a lifelong journey, but it's a journey worth living for, even if it doesn't feel like that today.

Please share with someone who needs to hear this today. It's so important for those suffering to know, there is a path forward 💜