What Maddie Would Want Me to Tell Your Teen

parentingsuicide-preventionfamily-supportmentorwell-foresight

Jan 9

I don't know your kid.

I can't pretend to.

But I knew mine. And I think about what she would want me to say to someone else's teenager, someone who might be sitting in the same kind of silence she sat in.

This is just what I wish she'd heard sooner. And what I think she'd want your teen to hear now.

It's Okay to Not Be Okay

You don't have to have it together.

You don't have to know why you feel the way you do. You don't have to explain it perfectly. You don't even have to understand it yourself.

What you're feeling is real. Even if it doesn't make sense. Even if it feels too big or too small or too hard to name.

You're not broken. You're struggling. And struggling is human. Very human.

Teen depression doesn't always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like irritability. Like withdrawal. Like not caring about things that used to matter.

Teen anxiety doesn't always feel like panic. Sometimes it feels like exhaustion. Like dread. Like a weight you can't shake.

And sometimes mental health struggles don't have a name at all. They're just there. Quiet. Persistent. Real.

This isn’t only in your head. And you're not alone.

Asking for Help Isn't Weakness

Maddie didn't ask for help.

Because she thought she was supposed to handle it herself.

She thought asking would burden people. That it would make her seem dramatic. That people wouldn't understand anyway.

She was wrong. And I didn't realize it until it was too late.

Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It makes you brave. It means you're choosing to live instead of just survive.

And the people who love you? They want to help. They're just waiting for you to let them in.

Talking to a parent about mental health is hard. I know that. Sometimes it feels easier to say nothing than to risk disappointing them or worrying them or making things worse.

But staying silent doesn't protect them. It just keeps you stuck.

If you can't talk to your parents right now, talk to someone. A school counsellor. A coach. A friend's parent. A therapist. A mentor. A crisis line.

Just don't stay silent because you think no one cares. They do. They're just waiting for you to say something.

You Don't Have to Suffer Alone

I know what it feels like to think no one gets it.

To feel like you're too much. Or not enough. Or stuck somewhere in between.

To wonder if it's even worth saying anything because maybe it'll just go away on its own.

But here's what I learned the hardest way possible:

Silence doesn't make pain smaller. It just makes it lonelier. And harder.

Teen suicide prevention starts with one thing: not staying silent.

Not waiting until it's unbearable. Not hoping it'll pass. Not thinking you can handle it alone.

You don't have to carry this by yourself. And you don't have to wait until it's a crisis to reach out.

Mental health support for teens exists. Youth mental health services are available. Crisis resources are real.

You just have to use them.

If you're in crisis right now:

Text or call 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline)
Text "HELLO" to 686868 (Crisis Text Line in Canada)
Text "START" to 741741 (Crisis Text Line in the US)

These aren't just numbers. They're people. And they're there because you matter.

You Matter, Even When It Doesn't Feel Like It

There are going to be days when it feels like nothing matters.

When it feels easier to disappear than to keep showing up.

When you wonder if anyone would even notice if you weren't here.

I need you to know something: You matter.

You matter because you're here. Because you exist. Because the world is better with you in it, even on the days when you can't feel that.

Maddie mattered. She still does. And I wish she'd believed that sooner.

Suicidal thoughts don't mean you're broken. They mean you're in pain. And pain this big deserves help. Not shame.

If you're thinking about suicide, please tell someone. Not because I'm asking you to. But because you deserve to see what's on the other side of this.

You deserve to feel better. You deserve support. You deserve to be here.

The People Who Love You Are Scared Too

Your parents don't have all the answers.

They're trying. They're worried. They're probably second-guessing everything they say and everything they don't say.

They might ask clumsy questions. They might say the wrong thing. They might not understand at first.

But they love you. And they want to help.

Parent-teen communication about mental health is hard on both sides. They don't know how to start the conversation. You don't know how to explain what you're feeling. And both of you are afraid of making it worse.

But worse isn't talking. Worse is silence.

So if you can't find the perfect words, don't wait for them.

Just say: "I'm not okay. I need help."

That's enough. That's more than enough. That's everything.

And if you can't say it to them, write it down. Text it. Email it. Leave a note on their pillow.

Just don't keep it inside because you're waiting for the right moment. The right moment is now.

What I Wish Maddie Had Done

I wish Maddie had told me she was struggling.

Not perfectly. Not with all the right words. Just... honestly.

I wish she'd trusted that I could handle it. That I wouldn't think less of her. That I would've done anything to help.

I didn't get that chance.

But you still have yours.

You still have time to reach out. To say something. To let someone in.

Please don't wait.

Teen mental health warning signs aren't always obvious. Sometimes it's withdrawal. Sometimes it's anger. Sometimes it's just feeling numb.

But if you're reading this and you recognize yourself, if something in you knows you're not okay. That's the sign.

You don't need it to get worse before you ask for help. You don't need proof. You don't need permission.

You just need to say something.