Ask a teenager how their day was and you'll hear "fine." In my LifeLine Parent Workshops, almost every parent says one of the same five things next, and most of them end the conversation early. Here's why "How was your day?" works like a greeting, how to talk to your teenager without them shutting down, and two questions parents tell me get a real answer, even when they still get the eye roll.

Your teenager comes home flat. You ask what happened and they say nothing. That can be the literal truth. Chris Coulter remembers when his daughter could name what upset her: a photo that only got forty-two likes. Today the pressure arrives in small pieces a teen can't explain. Here's why hunting for the incident backfires, and a better way to talk to your teenager about mental health.

My daughter was beating me at a board game on a hospital day pass when something turned. She said take me back, in plain words, at fourteen. She could do that because someone had taught her the language. Most teens never get it, which is why fine and yeah is all you get. What that means if your teenager won't talk to you, and where to start before anything is wrong.