A stranger in a Toronto pub told me he hadn't spoken to his son in almost ten years, then admitted he couldn't remember what started it. Most managers are carrying a smaller version of the same thing: a person on the team they've quietly stopped talking to properly. Nobody would take it to HR. Nobody is going to raise it either, because the person with the power in the room is you.

The blindspot breaking your management relationships is the same one breaking your parenting. The employee performing fine. The teenager protecting you from worry. Both made the same calculation. Honesty costs too much. This post names the dynamic — and the skill that breaks it in both rooms.