A message came in yesterday. Someone had found out a friend lost her daughter and didn't know what to do. She's not alone. Most people give a grieving family space because it feels respectful, and then the space becomes permanent. This is about when to reach out, what to say when you don't know what to say, and the two things that land badly.

Every podcast opens with the same question about my daughter Maddie. Off the microphone, people say they're sorry for my loss. One asks me to be her dad for a minute. The other closes the conversation. This is about what you actually get when you ask a grieving parent a second question, and the fourteen year old who appointed herself greeter on a psychiatric ward.