Parenting Out Loud: The Questions We’re All Afraid to Ask

Hard-won lessons, honest answers, and practical wisdom from one parent to another.

If you are a parent of a teenager, you carry something heavier than people realize.
You carry the emotional weight of raising a teen in a world that changes faster than any of us can keep up with.
And most parents tell me the same thing.
“I feel like I’m guessing. I feel like I’m failing. I don’t know what to do.”

You are not alone.
Not even close.

Since losing Maddie more than ten years ago and writing openly about our challenges, thousands of parents have reached out.
Some simply want to say thank you for sharing the rawness of our journey.
Others offer condolences for what our family lived through.
Many share their worries.
And many ask questions about their own child.

I represent every parent’s worst fear.
And my reason for helping is simple.
I never want another family to face the heartache we lived through.

I am not a licensed practitioner.
I am a parent with lived experience.
And many parents trust that because it comes from a place of honesty, humility, and real life. Because parenting isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present.

After hundreds of conversations, I noticed something.
Parents, across all backgrounds and situations, ask the same questions again and again.

So here they are.
The top twenty four questions parents ask me most often.
And I get asked about the first three questions, five times more than the others.

I have added a short explanation for each.
And most of these are the exact questions we answer inside our LifeLine Parent Workshops.
If your question is not here, that is why we dedicate half our workshop time to open Q and A.

1. “How do I get my teenager to talk to me?”

Most parents talk too much and listen too little.
Teens open up when pressure drops, not when conversations feel like an interview.

Start by creating low pressure moments.
Short drives.
Side by side time.
Ten minute check ins instead of long sit downs.

Then ask the qualifying question I learned from Kevin Hines.
“Is this a fix it or feel it conversation?”
Do they want you to help, or do they want you to listen?

If they say they only want you to listen, obey it.
Listening without correcting, judging, or jumping in builds trust faster than any advice.
When teens feel heard, they talk more.
When they feel pushed, they shut down.

Give them space, stay steady, and let the words come when they are ready.

This is a big portion of our second session in our LifeLine Parent Workshops. We give parents a ton of emotional intelligence-based tips and strategies that build bridges and help tear down walls.

2. “How do I know if my teen is struggling or just being a teenager?”

You look for patterns, not single moments.
Every teen has bad days. We all do.
What matters is what repeats over time.

Watch for signs like:
• Short answers that last for days.
• Losing interest in hobbies or activities they once loved.
• Spending more time alone in their room.
• Pulling away from friends and family.
• Cancelling plans or avoiding people.
• A sudden drop in marks or effort at school.
• Changes in sleep or eating.
• Feeling flat or drained most days.
• Joking about dark topics or saying they do not care anymore.
• Big reactions to small things.

When their world starts shrinking, something is going on.
These early shifts appear long before major behaviour changes or crisis signs.

This exact topic is the primary focus of our first session in the LifeLine Parent Workshops.
Parents learn how to read these early patterns, what they mean, and how to respond in a calm, steady way that actually helps teens open up instead of shutting down.

3. “Where do I go for mental health resources for my child?”

Most parents feel lost when they reach this point.
They do not know where to start or who to trust.
They search online, make calls, and wait for help that often takes months to access.

I work with an expedited diagnosis and referral partner who sees families in weeks, not months.
This gives parents a clear path forward when everything feels urgent and overwhelming.

This is the primary focus of our third session in the LifeLine Parent Series.
It is the session where you can feel the panic in the room.
I remember when we were in that stage.
The sleepless nights.
The fear.
Trying to hold it together at work while everything inside you feels unsteady.

Parents feel helpless.
They feel alone.
They worry they will miss something important.
They worry they will not find the right support in time.

We give them hope by giving them a plan.
A real plan.
Clear steps.
Trusted resources.
The support they need before a crisis arrives, not after.

Parents should never have to navigate this alone.

4. “How do I get my teen off their phone?”

You fix the stress, not the phone.
Set rules before they get the device, not after.

5. “Why does my teen shut me out when I try to help?”

Too much talking or advice giving makes teens pull back.
Presence works better than pressure.

6. “What do I say when they tell me they’re fine, but they’re not?”

Reflect what you see.
Be curious, not accusatory.

7. “How do I get my teen to see a therapist?”

Invite, don’t force.
Sometimes a mentor or trusted friend feels safer than a clinician.

8. “How do I stop the confrontations?”

Behaviour is the signal, not the real issue.
Parents are often part of the pattern without knowing it.

9. “How do I set boundaries without a fight?”

Fewer, clearer rules.
Explain the why.

10. “Should I worry about my younger kids too?”

Yes.
Quiet kids often hide needs to avoid “adding stress.”

11. “What signs should I watch for that aren’t obvious?”

Loss of interest, isolation, flat tone, overreactions.

12. “How do I talk about tough topics?”

Calm tone.
Short sentences.
Honest language.
Talking openly reduces risk.

13. “How much screen time is too much?”

Timing matters more than hours.
After ten at night, everything hits harder.

14. “Why is my teen angry all the time?”

Anger usually hides fear, shame, or sadness.

15. “How do I rebuild trust?”

Consistency, not perfection.
Show up.
Listen more.

16. “What do I do when my teen shuts down?”

Keep talks short.
Use side by side moments.
You can pause and return later.

17. “How do I support my teen when I’m struggling too?”

Model honesty.
Show them what reaching out looks like.

18. “Is this normal behaviour or something deeper?”

If it is new, lasting, or shrinking their world, it matters.

19. “How do I talk about their friends?”

Avoid judging.
Ask how the relationship makes them feel.

20. “What if my teen refuses everything I suggest?”

Shift from giving answers to asking questions.
Ownership changes the dynamic.

21. “Who do I turn to when I have no idea what to do?”

Parents need support too.
Our MentorWell Parent Circle launches mid December 2025 for this exact reason.

22. “How do I help with comparison online?”

Talk about the impact.
Teach them to measure backwards instead of measuring against others.

23. “How do I support school stress without taking over?”

Validate first.
Then break things into smaller, manageable parts.

24. “Is my parenting style making things worse?”

If you’re asking, you care.
That matters more than perfection.

Conclusion

You are not supposed to be perfect.
None of us are.
Teens do not need perfect parents.
They need present ones.

There is power in telling your teen, “I don’t have all the answers, but I want to learn.”
There is power in an honest apology too.
Real apologies build bridges, not walls.

Parenting is tough.
Everyone struggles at times.
Some days you feel steady.
Some days you feel lost.

If you need help, MentorWell connects families with emotionally intelligent mentors who bring real lived experience.
And if you are an employer, strongly consider bringing us in to run our LifeLine Parent Workshops.
Parents walk away with these answers, and dozens of practical strategies that strengthen connection at home.

It is simple.
But it is anything but easy.