Why You Were Never Meant to Hold This Alone

Someone asks how you’re doing. You say, “I’m fine.” You half expect someone under their breath to utter, “bullshit.” I called it on myself often.

You don’t even pause. It comes out automatically.

Lonely in a full house You can be standing in your kitchen. Kids nearby. Dinner half made. Noise everywhere.

And you still feel alone.

This is a specific kind of loneliness. It comes from holding everything in.

How parenting became private. Parenting used to be shared. Family. Neighbours. Community.

Now it happens behind closed doors. Or online. Where everything looks better than it is.

You see highlights. Smiling kids. Progress posts.

You compare that to your reality. Tension. Worry. Late nights. Questions you cannot answer.

F#cking Facebook!

You start to think you’re the only one struggling.

You’re not.  I know I'm not the only one, because more than 2,000 conversations with panicked parents will validate that.  And those are only a drop in the bucket to the ones silently struggling.  I know, because I was one of them.

The fear parents don’t admit. Most parents carry a quiet fear. What does this say about me if my child is struggling?

You worry about judgement. From friends. From family. From schools. Sometimes from professionals.

So you soften the truth. You explain things away. You tell yourself it’s just a phase.

Waiting feels safer than speaking.

The cost of pretending. Pretending takes energy. More than you realize.

You replay conversations. You second guess your instincts. You wonder if you missed something. You ask if you made it worse.

Over time, this builds. Anxiety. Self doubt. Shame. Silence

Research shows parental isolation links to higher stress, anxiety, and depression. Because humans are not meant to carry this alone.

Your kids feel it. Kids notice more than we think. Even when they say nothing.

They feel tension. They sense distance. They pick up on what goes unspoken.

This is not blame. It’s awareness.

Why being busy doesn’t help. Being busy is not the same as being supported. Being needed is not the same as being seen.

You can have a full calendar. Sports. School events. Family dinners.

And still feel empty.

Sometimes those moments make it worse.

You laugh. You play your role. You go home feeling more alone.

No one asked the real question. You didn’t feel safe enough to answer it.

What parents actually need. Most parents do not need more advice.

They need:

• One space where they don’t have to perform

• Conversations without fixing

• Other parents who tell the truth

• Words for what they are feeling

• Permission to say, this is hard

They need to hear, me too.

How to start breaking the loneliness You don’t need a big moment. You need a small one.

Start here:

• Say one honest sentence to one safe person

• Ask for listening, not solutions

• Stop minimizing what you’re carrying

• Name what’s hard without apologizing

• Find spaces built for parents in the thick of it

Support doesn’t have to be perfect. It has to be real.

When something feels off There is a moment most parents recognize. Nothing is clearly wrong. Nothing is clearly right. Your gut won’t let it go.

That moment deserves space. It deserves honesty. It deserves other parents who won’t rush you, judge you, or minimize it.

That is why we created a place called When Something Feels Off. Not to fix you. Not to label your child. But to give parents a place to say, this feels off, and not be alone in it.

You don’t have to live there. The loneliest room in the house is not your kitchen or bedroom. It’s the silence where you pretend you’re fine.

You don’t have to stay there.

The moment you stop pretending, something shifts. Connection starts. Relief follows.

You were never meant to do this alone.