The MentorWell · Parent tools
The Shutdown Check
Want a different answer, ask the question a different way. And when you're not asking, say less.
Your teen starts to tell you something. What you do in the next ten seconds decides whether they keep going.
Most of us have one move we reach for without thinking. We solve it. We ask twelve questions. We tell them it'll be fine. Every one of those comes from love, and every one of them can close the conversation.
Ten situations. Four answers each, none of them the right one, so pick the closest to what you'd actually do. If none fit, write your own. The response that keeps the door open comes straight after, and you can judge your answer against it yourself.
There's no score. Nobody is grading your parenting, least of all me.
Three minutes.
Nothing you enter leaves this page. This isn't an assessment of your parenting or a clinical tool. It names a habit, so you can trade it for a better one.
Question 1 of 10
What keeps it open
How close was yours? Nobody's marking it. You'll know.
Your result
What it looks like
What it costs you
Two swaps
Say this, this week
What you reached for
In your own words
You just read ten responses that keep a conversation open. Nobody remembers ten. Take the one above and use it once this week.
Bring your result to the workshop. We'll practise it out loud, which is the part that changes anything.
If you're worried right now about your teen's safety, this page isn't the place to start. Call or text 9-8-8 any time, in Canada or the US.