What Losing My Child to Suicide Taught Me About Parenting (And Why You Should Listen)

Anytime, I receive a message that starts “With all due respect”, I expect it to be a backhanded F**k You. But I don’t expect it to be intentionally hurtful. To many parents, I write about the unimaginable; the loss of a child from suicide. Most of my interactions on LinkedIn are supportive and respectful. Occasionally, I get a message from someone that makes me think, “WTF is wrong with some people?” It used to really jolt me, but today, in the grand scheme of things, we can only control how we respond to the comment. We can let it unhinge us for the day, or allow it to motivate us. I find motivational moments more inspiring, and better for my mental health. So what was the direct message I received?

“With all due respect, what qualifies you to give me parenting advice, when you lost a child to suicide?” There are so many ways to respond to this. I’ve learned the best response is don’t give the comment air to breathe, and delete and block the sender. Nothing good will come from furthering this thread.

But where is Stephen Colbert when you need him, right?

I’m not looking for validation. I get too many messages from parents thanking me for my perspective and advice to take heed to these cruel comments. It is difficult to be vulnerable in what we share. We open up ourselves to a ton of scrutiny from others. As I like to remind my boys, mistakes allow us to learn, to improve and be better human beings.

But with time, and a lot of honest reflection, I realized that my experience isn’t a reason to turn away. It’s actually what makes my perspective worth sharing.

Here’s why my story, as painful as it is, might offer something that no textbook or “expert” can:

1. I Know What Doesn’t Work, and What Sometimes Does

No theory can prepare you for the unpredictability of parenting, especially through crisis. I’ve made mistakes, tried what failed, and sometimes stumbled onto the smallest gestures that made all the difference.

2. I Understand the Guilt, the Shame, and the Endless ‘What Ifs’

No parent escapes self-blame after loss. I live with questions and regrets every single day. If you’re afraid of getting it wrong, I get it—I’m not here to judge, but to sit beside you in that ache.

3. I’ve Let Go of the Myth of Perfect Parenting

Losing Maddie stripped away my need to pretend I had all the answers. I know now that what our kids need isn’t flawless parents—they need us real, present, and willing to keep showing up, even in the mess.

4. I’ve Seen How Small Shifts Can Change Everything

Sometimes it’s not the big, dramatic interventions that help, but the soft word, the apology, the quiet moment of just listening. I’ve seen these moments rebuild trust where I thought it was lost.

5. I’m Here as a Companion, Not an Authority

I don’t claim to have magic solutions. What I offer is a willingness to share what I’ve lived—the wounds, the learning, and the hope. If my story helps even one family feel less alone, or one parent respond with a bit more softness, then it’s worth every word.

If You’re Still Reading, Here’s What I Want You to Know

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to connect, even when it’s awkward, scary, or feels like you’re failing.

Sometimes the bravest thing we can do for our kids is to admit we’re human, to ask for help, and to keep trying.
And sometimes, the most powerful support comes from those who know what it’s like to lose and to love deeply.

If you want a different kind of parenting advice, the kind that comes from hard-won experience and open-hearted listening. I’m here.
That’s what The MentorWell is for.

And to the person who messaged me the cruel comment? The next day, I received another DM from a mental health practitioner, a connection on LinkedIn, wanted to let me know, she forwarded one of my articles to a friend, who had a suicidal child, and told me “This is all to say that your post made a huge difference for one family.
Thank you again.” Or to the woman who was travelling with a severely struggling child, desperate for resources. She thought to contact me because she follows my posts. Because she was from Toronto, I was able to give her some really helpful resources.

This is why I write. These are the people I write for.

Book your complimentary call to see if a mentor makes sense for your teen.
Because you don’t have to figure this out alone.