The Parenting Mistake That’s Leaving a Generation Unprepared
Is Helicopter Parenting Creating a Generation That Can’t Handle Life?
Overprotective parenting often comes from a place of love, but is it leaving teens unprepared for real-world challenges? Let’s see the effects of micromanaging kids’ lives and offers practical strategies for parents to build confidence and independence in their teens.
“As a principal, I’ve interacted with thousands of parents and witnessed firsthand those who genuinely believe they are helping their child by removing every obstacle in their path.” says Julie Aube, the CEO of Parent Pulse Coaching. This led me to coin the term "Snow Plow Parenting." Just like a snow plow clears the snow in front, pushes it to the side, and salts behind, snowplow parents prevent their children from facing struggles by either pushing and promoting them or allowing them to quit. Consequently, these children miss out on learning problem-solving skills and building the resilience needed to navigate life's challenges, whether the path is icy, rocky, or covered in three feet of snow.
Gradual Release of Responsibility: Giving Kids the Tools to Succeed
It’s essential to focus on the process. Parents won’t always be there to fight their kids’ battles or remove obstacles, so giving them the tools early on helps them transition into their teen years and later, into adulthood.
At Parent Pulse, we use the Gradual Release of Responsibility Model:
I Do – The parent models the skill.
We Do – The parent supports the child as they try it.
You Do – The child does it independently.
Alison was only 8 years old when the school learned she was riding the streetcar alone. Some questioned her parents’ decision, but when her mom was contacted, she responded with calm confidence:
"Alison and I have been practicing all summer for this transition. I have taught her exactly what to do and given her various scenarios that she passed with flying colours. She is more than capable of crossing the street, getting on the streetcar, finding a seat, and recognizing her stop. Alison is actually the one who feels ready to take this next step."
And she was.
Fast-forward, and Alison is now playing Division 1 soccer, a testament to the confidence she developed early on.
If parents understand Gradual Release of Responsibility, they can slowly start preparing their children for tasks and activities that encourage confidence, independence, and responsibility. More importantly, it shows kids that their parents trust them to make decisions, problem-solve, and follow through.
Where Mentorship Bridges the Gap
This is where mentorship and parenting intersect. Parents provide the foundation: values, discipline, and emotional security. But at some point, the baton must be passed.
As a mentor, I work with young adults who struggle with independence because they’ve never been given the opportunity to figure things out on their own. Their parents did everything for them until suddenly, they couldn’t.
Aube says, A CEO friend of mine recalls a parent tracking him down to complain that her son got fired. Instead of encouraging her son to handle the situation himself, she stepped in, because that’s what she had always done. But in the workforce, there’s no safety net. No one is going to call your boss for you.
Mentorship fills this gap by:
Encouraging real-world problem-solving
Helping teens build resilience through failure
Teaching them to advocate for themselves
Offering guidance without micromanaging
At home, parents can start small, giving kids responsibility, allowing them to struggle, and resisting the urge to step in too soon. In the world, mentors can reinforce these lessons, guiding young adults toward independence in ways that parents sometimes can’t.
The Shift from “I’ll Fix It” to “We’ll Figure It Out”
Parenting and mentorship aren’t about control; they’re about equipping.
Julie’s family motto is “We’ll figure it out.” It’s a reminder that life’s challenges aren’t something to fear; they’re something to navigate together.
The same applies to mentorship. My goal isn’t to give young people all the answers, but instead, it’s to help them find the answers themselves.
The best gift we can give our kids isn’t protection from struggle, but the confidence to face struggle head-on.
How do you encourage independence in your kids? Have you seen the impact of mentorship or parent coaching in your own life?
Bio of Julie Aubé
Julie Aubé is the CEO of Parent Pulse Coaching, a dedicated advocate for helping parents raise independent, resilient, and confident children. With years of experience as a principal, she has worked with thousands of families, guiding them through the challenges of modern parenting. Julie founded Parent Pulse Coaching to empower parents with practical strategies, focusing on the Gradual Release of Responsibility model to prepare kids for real-world success. Her expertise in child development, emotional intelligence, and leadership has made her a sought-after coach, speaker, and mentor for parents navigating the complexities of raising today’s youth. Through Parent Pulse, Julie provides personalized coaching, workshops, and resources to help parents let go of overprotection and foster independence, one small step at a time.
Bio of Chris Coulter
Chris Coulter is the CEO of The Mentor Well, an online mentoring platform designed to connect emotionally intelligent leaders with teens and young adults seeking guidance, confidence, and direction. The Mentor Well bridges the gap between parenting and real-world readiness, providing young people with the mentorship they need to build resilience, leadership skills, and a strong sense of self. Through personalized support and real-world insights, Chris is committed to helping teens navigate life’s challenges confidently, while ensuring they’re prepared for the future and empowered to shape it.
Are you a SnowPlow Parent? Take our self-assessment Quiz and find out TODAY
