Grief and Depression Tried to Bully Me Last Night

They Visited Me Again Last Night

I looked in the bathroom mirror, and I heard them.

“This is your last chance. If you don’t get it right this time, you’re done.”

It had been a while since they’d visited, my dark shadow. That’s what grief and depression look like when they team up. One questions your worth. The other beats you down with lies.

“You’ll never amount to anything,” he scolded.

But this time, standing there in the bathroom, I looked him dead in the eye and told him to f*** off.

It’s been months since he last showed up. And that’s the thing. You start to believe, maybe, just maybe, you’ve moved past it. You think you’re in the clear. Then out of nowhere, he’s back. And suddenly, you’re not sure who’s steering the ship anymore.

When you live with grief and depression, you never know which one’s driving. Or where you’re heading.

This visit came the night before the first webinar for The Mentor Well. We’ve gone well beyond dipping a toe into mentorship. The interest, the encouragement, the momentum, it’s real. Good things are happening.

But grief doesn’t care about your calendar. Depression doesn't care about your webinar. Confidence can become fragile, if we give it the power. I didn't always have the tools to go toe-to-tie with him. For a long time, we were in completely different weight classes. Grief and depression make you feel less than you are worth. 

I was telling someone the other day how passionate I am about The Mentor Well. And how lucky I am to have a partner like Alana Tart. We’re in this together. Fully. Her only ask?

“Maddie will always be our co-pilot.”

And she is. Always.

I may have silenced the dark voice, for now. Or maybe it’s just testing my resolve. But one thing I’ve learned?

Passion doesn’t need a lot of sleep or oxygen. 

When you’re building something that matters, you don’t hit snooze. You jump out of bed ready to fight for it.

We’ve got a long road ahead. But I know I’m not alone.

Maddie’s riding shotgun