5 Lessons Losing a Child to Suicide Taught Me About Parenting

5 Lessons Losing a Child to Suicide Taught Me About Parenting:
The MentorWell Perspective

In April 2025, it marked ten years since we lost Maddie.
A decade that broke me, shaped me, and forced me to look at parenting with clearer eyes.

I’ve carried sadness that felt impossible to hold. I’ve replayed moments I wish I could change. I’ve questioned choices I made as a parent. I’ve also searched for purpose. Over time, I began to see what kids truly need from us, and how easy it is to miss those signals.

This is the moment my life was split in two: the before and the after. I saw 22 missed calls. Then words no parent is ready to read. Maddie was missing. Minutes later, I learned she had sent a goodbye text.

I would give anything to go back and ask one more question.
But I can’t.

What I can do is take what this decade has shown me and use it to help other families. That is why MentorWell exists. It comes from pain, love, and a promise that other families deserve more support than we had.

The years that followed taught me many things. Some were hard. Some were hopeful. All of them changed how I see kids, parenting, and connection.

Here are five lessons that stayed with me.

1. Listen More Than You Speak

Kids rarely spell out their pain.
Maddie didn’t.
She dropped small signs. A change in her mood. A quiet answer. A vague “I’m tired.” I thought I understood. I didn’t dig deeper.

Many teens will not say the exact words. They give clues and hope someone notices. Listening is paying attention to the silences as much as the sentences.

MentorWell was built for this. A mentor often hears what a parent never gets the chance to hear.

2. Be Present, Not Perfect

Parents carry pressure to get everything right.
But kids don’t need perfect.
They need us to show up.

A conversation in the car. A quick check-in before bed. A hug when they pull away. These moments matter more than any well-planned answer.

Mentors reinforce this presence. They give teens another adult who shows up for them with steady, calm attention.

3. Make Mental Health a Normal Conversation

I avoided some conversations with Maddie because I feared saying the wrong thing.
I was wrong.

Mental health needs to be as common as asking about school. Asking direct questions does not “put ideas” into a teen’s mind. It opens a door.

Most teens wait far too long to share how they feel.
A trusted mentor can help reduce that gap. They give teens a place to speak freely without fear or pressure.

4. Celebrate Who They Are

Maddie was funny, creative, and caring. She also doubted herself more than anyone knew.

Parents often focus on who kids should be. Kids need us to see who they already are.
Teens thrive when they feel valued for their strengths, quirks, and interests.

A mentor helps reinforce that sense of identity. Teens open up when someone sees their worth without judgment or comparison.

5. Love Unconditionally and Say It Often

I hope Maddie always knew how deeply she was loved.
But I still wish I’d said it more often.

Teens need to hear the words.
They also need to feel them. Through our time. Through consistency. Through patience.

Mentors help repeat this message in their own way. They remind teens they are enough. They reinforce what every teen deserves to hear.

Where This Leaves Us

Losing Maddie changed every part of my life. It changed how I parent. It changed how I show up for others. It also shaped why MentorWell exists.

Parents do their best, but teens often need more than one caring adult in their corner. Someone steady. Someone trained to listen. Someone who notices the small signs.

If there is one message I hope you take with you, it’s this:
Do not wait for a crisis to connect with your teen.

Check in.
Ask the uncomfortable question.
Sit with them when things feel heavy.
Give them one more chance to share what they are carrying.

And if you feel your teen needs another trusted adult, MentorWell is here to help.

Every teen deserves someone who truly sees them.