Why Talking About Suicide Doesn’t Cause Suicide

“If we talk about it, will it make them do it?”

Let’s get one thing straight:
Talking about suicide doesn’t plant ideas; it opens doors.

The myth that bringing up suicide puts the thought in someone’s head?
It’s not just wrong; it’s dangerous.

I hear so many parents get this wrong.

Research consistently shows that open, honest conversations about suicide can reduce risk, not increase it.
When we talk about it, we create space for connection, for relief, and—often—for survival.

“Asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts—it can actually be a relief,” says the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention.

So why do so many parents, teachers, and even schools avoid the topic?
Because they’re scared. Because it’s uncomfortable.
Because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.

But you know what’s worse than saying the wrong thing?
Saying nothing.

I know that silence.
I lived in it.

My daughter, Maddie, was 14.
She was the kind of kid who lit up every room: smart, funny, magnetic. She had a softness that drew people in, even when she was the one who needed holding.

But under the surface, she was struggling. And I missed the signs.

My business went under. We moved twice. Her mom and I divorced.
Life hit her with wave after wave of upheaval, and like most teens, she didn’t have the language to ask for help.

I didn’t either.

She started pulling away. I pushed harder.
More rules. More structure. Less listening.

One night, she went to a party when she wasn’t supposed to.
I found her there, crying, overwhelmed, hiding in a closet.
I brought her home, tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and said:
“Tomorrow is a new day.”

That night, she tried to take her life.

It wouldn’t be the last time.

Eventually, we lost her.

That’s the part of the story I never get used to saying out loud.
But I say it because we need to hear it.
We need to feel it.

Because too many of us are still waiting for “the right moment” to have the hard conversation.
But the right moment is now.

Silence didn’t save Maddie.
But conversation might have.
A simple, messy, imperfect moment of honesty might have opened the door to something different.

That’s why we created The Mentor Well, a safe, non-judgmental space for teens to be seen, heard, and supported by mentors who know how to sit in the discomfort and say, “You’re not broken. You’re just figuring things out.”

Mentorship isn’t a replacement for therapy or parenting.
It’s a bridge between silence and connection, between fear and hope.

If your school avoids the topic of suicide, ask why.
Then push harder.
Kids deserve better.

Start the conversation.
Even if it’s awkward. Even if you’re scared.
Because someone’s life might be waiting on the other side of your bravery.

These conversations are lifelines. They’re not easy, scary as hell, but essential. We’ve put a help guide on how to have the talk about suicide with your teens. This conversation could save lives, possibly even those of your teen or young adult.